September Already?

Well, I must say that it has become one of the most interesting summers yet...

This summer, I tackled grad classes, which felt like nothing. I strengthened my relationships with others. I taught more piano. I worked and struggled with my health. I promised that I would work out and not KILL myself at such a young age. I reminded myself of the importance of prayer and letting go and letting God. I went to Maine with my family and my boyfriend. I played in countless rehearsals and performances. I played for OCM 8:30 morning service. I got a music teaching job! I am learning how to say no to other responsibilities that I unfortunately cannot keep in my schedule and still remain sane... :) o.O?

It has been very clear to me in this past summer of how God has been leading my steps with every opportunity He placed in front of me. I know that I had shared previously during one small group that there was one semester in college where I let it all go and left everything in God's hands. Scary thought but completely true! Well, it was the hopes of both my small group leaders and some friends that I would indeed be able to replicate that sentiment of letting go and letting God as I decided to quit my job and return to grad school full time.

However, as time passed and summer drew near, a number of odd things happened. Note: I do wish to clarify that statement by saying that these things were NOT ODD for God. First, I began to research teaching certifications in July as I started to prepare for a return to school. Second, I found that I could indeed obtain a fourth certification in music since God had previously opened the door to my completing a music minor during undergrad. Third, as I began to outline my studies, I determined I would only need 8 more credits to obtain and take a certification exam in music for my fourth certification. Following this discovery, I contacted professors to confirm that this would indeed be a possibility for me. I then began to consider my teaching experience in the music area and found that my niece's Christian school is looking for a part-time music teacher. As I prayed about whether or not God wanted me to pursue this as a way of earning a bit more in order to finance my own education, I prepared myself again by updating cover letters and my resume and forwarded it to the principal. Upon discussing this position further with the principal, I was informed that I would only be working about 4.5 hours each Friday. Since my travel commute time into Westchester would take further time out of my schedule, I prayed that I would also be extended an opportunity to teach the Kindergarten classes as well because that would lengthen my day by an extra two hours of pay. This past week, I was offered the opportunity to also teach the Kindergarten class at the school which would mean I am working a full 6 hours on Friday.

With that being said, I am even more aware of God's provision throughout the summer. As I prepared for school and wrote my letters of resignation, I began to realize just how important grad school would be. As I studied and put in grueling hours (with 2 near all-nighters already), I was rewarded by my diligence with a 3.9 for the summer semester, a first in all of my years at NYU. When I worried I would not be able to survive without working, God provided me with a work-study position at my former office of employment when I was an undergraduate student although they do not normally hire grad students to work there. When I worried about depleting all of my parents' savings in order to finance grad school, God provided yet another opportunity at my niece's school as the part-time music teacher along with a bunch of other students for individual piano lessons. As I am daunted right now with school and was recently contacted about the number of credits I have registered for in the fall, I am reminded again that God has paved a path for me in order to pursue and complete all of the things that I have always dreamed of doing. It may be a crazy year, but one that I will always be grateful for as God continued to show that He does indeed take care of His children and give them the desires of their heart as long as we are faithful in our commitments to Him.

As I sit here sinking in readings for classes although classes do not officially start until tomorrow, I realize that I am starting to doubt my own abilities to handle grad school. The work listed on each syllabus causes me to stare at my own reflection in FEAR and DESPAIR because I am terrified of failing when I am taking basically all my savings for the last year, my parents' savings and loans to finance grad school. I am reminded of my sheer desire to do well and excel.
I am reminded of my own promise to LET GO and LET GOD take care of me in this year since He clearly knows what He's doing...

So as I freak out about reading, I know that I will definitely be able to handle grad school work as long as I am diligent... Here's to praying God will come through although I know that He always does...

Remind me of this post when I lose my sanity... :)