Soooo, I think I'm finally in this season now... the one I have always dreaded my entire life.... the one where I get asked day-in and day-out when my wedding is going to be... or when I'm going to date, when I'm going to have kids... etc.
Well, the dating part I had covered about a year and a half ago but of course, the more Kevin comes over for family functions and dinners, I anticipate the questions from my extended family members... And sure enough, this September, I got asked about 10 times during dinner... "When are you getting married? Are you getting married? Is this your fiancé? Are you serious with him? Are you getting engaged soon?" It was a never-ending barrage of questions.
Just a couple weeks ago, someone asked me "Oh, is that your husband?"
The only response I could come up with at the time was "No, not yet... In due time... God's got a time for that." That would have been enough to freak me out but I was pretty calm and collected.
And then.... I started hearing of people's engagements. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for everyone that's gotten engaged but it's kinda overwhelming a bit...
I'm happy for Rich.
I'm THRILLED for Wendy and Jordan, haha. Totally not joking, we need to do a celebratory dinner with the two of them! :) hehehe eeeeee!
It's really exciting and I look forward to the weddings I'm attending this year and also in the next year.
But at the same time, it's terrifying, really, this idea of marriage. I know that I see a future with Kevin. I see marriage, I see kids. But deep down, I know God's going to open that door when it's time. Yes, it's hard to be in the waiting period but there's beauty that grows out of that and I trust that God knows exactly what I'm feeling and how to tackle all of that as the time goes by.
It's amazing how God brought us together. I never saw that coming in a million years. But I trust that God's got a plan for both of us and He'll take care of everything in our relationship as we grow closer to each other and more importantly, grow closer to God. I struggle so much with this idea of marriage because ultimately, I know that I do want that. I want to settle down and raise a family. But at the same time, I know that we're not there yet and we've got a ways to go because we're both pursuing options right now that will help us both prepare for the future. We're taking steps to outline a foundation that will serve as a stable point in each of our lives. We each have our own timeline but I'm comforted by the fact that God has his own and it doesn't always line up with ours.
This entire weekend was surrounded by talks about our relationship, our lives, housing options, engagement and marriage and where that leaves the two of us... And I was reminded that no matter how much we plan, God ultimately will direct us to be where we are and where we need to be should that be in the cards for the two of us....
Life is good. Changes and decisions on the horizon but God'll take care of all of that in due time...
So I'll wait upon You now, with my hands released to You,
Where a little faith's enough to see mountains lift and move,
And I'll wait upon You now, dedicated to Your will,
To this love that will remain, a love that never fails...
God's got me covered... I can trust that He'll take care of me and lead me through to the next stages of my life. :)
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